Brackets are on everyone’s mind as we head deeper into the second week of March Madness. But with one of the craziest Sweet 16 fields in years slated to begin Thursday, all we can think about is planning our pizza order for the upcoming games.
And with that, we welcome you to Pizza Pandemonium, in which we ask you to vote on the best pizza toppings of all time. Pizza innovation has certainly come a long way in recent years, but for our purposes, imagine a base pie (crust, sauce, cheese) and be prepared to build from there.
Our bracket is filled with old classics like pepperoni and mushrooms, but it also features a few Cinderellas ready for their shocking upsets — looking at you, anchovies. Our bracket is separated into two regions featuring meats/cheese and vegetables/fruits, fittingly labeled the Hunter Region and Gatherer Region.
Sweet 16 voting will take place on our Cover 3 Podcast Twitter account with links embedded into the article below. Check back with CBS Sports as 16 toppings become eight, and pretty soon, we will have our national champion. Place your bets now.
Pizza Pandemonium bracket
Voting for every round round is being held via tweets from our Cover 3 Podcast account as embedded below.
Hunter Region
(1) Pepperoni vs. (8) Anchovies
(1) Pepperoni: The No. 1 overall seed, pepperoni on pizza is an American institution. When you close your eyes and think of a pizza in your mind, it is probably adorned with pepperoni. Granted, pizza has expanded and grown past pepperoni in recent years. Could an upset be on the table?
(8) Anchovies: The anchovy is perhaps the most maligned ingredient in the storied history of pizza. The small, salted fish is a key ingredient of many Italian dishes; it’s also used as a base for Caesar dressing and Worcestershire sauce. On pizza, anchovies can provide a salty, unique flavor. People either love it or hate it.
(4) Bacon vs. (5) Ham
(4) Bacon: Bacon had a moment about a decade ago when it took over our cultural consciousness. It’s over now, but bacon is still a strong supporting player in the pizza game. And some still wear by the “bacon on anything and everything” mantra.
(5) Ham: This includes so-called “Canadian bacon.” It has a sweet taste that provides a contrast to the other meats on the list.
(3) Sausage vs. (6) Meatballs
(3) Sausage: This fell to the third line in our seeding, but might be my No. 1 seed. Sausage has a density to it that other meats can’t match, and its small size allows wide distribution. It has more flavor than pepperoni or sausage. Keep an eye on sausage as an underdog — and not just in the region.
(6) Meatball: What a brutal first-round matchup in this corner of the bracket. Meatball boasts the heft of sausage but without the same level of compactness or flavor. Add some ricotta, and you have a helluva pie. Good luck deciding between these two.
(2) Extra cheese vs. (7) Chicken
(2) Extra cheese: For many pizza lovers, the even layer of mozzarella cheese on top of a basic pie is not enough. For a small surcharge, you can expand your horizons and get a much cheesier, more satisfying pie. Depending on the style of pizza, getting the right amount of cheese can be a game changer. And “more cheese” remains one of the most popular toppings nationally.
(7) Chicken: Chicken has expanded in popularity over the last few years with the introduction of more creative and speciality pizzas. Now, if you don’t want red meat, it’s easy to find a pesto chicken or barbecue chicken to take your pie to the next level. We’ll see how it performs in the tournament, but chicken is a strong contender for most improved topping.
Gatherer Region
(1) Mushrooms vs. (8) Jalapeños
(1) Mushrooms: Mushrooms have emerged as one of the most popular toppings on both lower- and higher-end pizzas thanks to their complex umami flavor. Especially for meatless pizzas, mushrooms can provide a necessary level of substance and flavor.
(8) Jalapeños: For a bit of a spicy kick, jalapeños are an easy choice. They’re a perfect addition to nearly every type of pizza. And they get separate billing here from other peppers due to their spice level.
(4) Olives vs. (5) Spinach
(4) Olives: In some ways, olives are the vegetarian answer to anchovies in that they’re a salty addition to balance heftier components. However, the olive taste is far less offensive to the average pizza-goer. Will it flip its place in the bracket?
(5) Spinach: Not a star ingredient by any means, but spinach is an old reliable. It wilts nicely and provides a crispy but refreshing backdrop for the rest of your ingredient canvas.
(3) Peppers vs. (6) Tomatoes
(3) Bell Peppers: Few ingredients on a pizza give you a true crunch, but peppers fit the bill. Green bell peppers specifically bring an earthy taste that complements almost any other ingredient. Others prefer banana peppers, which are about five times more mild than jalapeños but still offer a ton of flavor.
(6) Tomatoes: Tomato sauce makes the base of a pizza, but a sliced or diced tomato still has a place on the right pie. It provides a textural contrast with a fresher flavor.
(2) Onion vs. (7) Pineapple
(2) Onion: The right onion can completely transform a pizza and elevate it to the next level. Red onions, for example, have a fragrant, biting taste. White onions are a little less special but still deserve consideration for their elevation ability.
(7) Pineapple: Here we go. Pineapple on pizza is to the 21st Century what anchovies were to the 20th Century. We’re not here to take a stance on it, but Hawaiian pizza — among others — have made pineapple a staple on pies to the chagrin of many. Popular enough not to be the last seed in the region, but it goes up against a fan favorite.
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